How can I get my toddler to talk more?

First, check where your toddler is

Before you change anything, it helps to know whether your toddler is in the normal range or might need a check. Language milestones come in wide ranges, and two healthy children of the same age can be months apart. By 18 months, most children try to say three or more words besides "mama" or "dada." By 2, most put two words together. By 30 months, most say about 50 words.

If your 2-year-old has fewer than 50 words and no two-word combinations, or your 18-month-old isn't trying to say three words, mention it at the next checkup and ask for a hearing test. Keep using everything on this page while you wait. It's exactly what a speech therapist will likely suggest anyway. More in how many words a 2-year-old should say.

Step by step

1. ExpandSay back what your toddler says, a little fuller, without correcting: "Dog run" becomes "Yes, the dog is running!"
2. ExtendAdd a new idea or word: "He's running to get his ball. He's fast!"
3. Ask the right questionChoice questions under 2 ("Apple or banana?"), what/where/who questions from 2, why questions from 3.
4. WaitCount silently to five before you help, so your toddler gets their turn.
5. Narrate, then pauseDescribe what you and your child are doing, then stop and see if they add something.
6. Reread favoritesRead the same book often and pause before familiar words for your child to fill in.
7. Turn off background TVKeep the TV off during meals and play so talk fills the room.

Expand, extend, and ask open questions

Three small habits do most of the work, and you can use all three in one sentence.

Expand: say it back, a little fuller. Your toddler says, "Dog run." You say, "Yes, the dog is running!" You've kept their idea and shown how the grown-up version sounds. There's no correcting, no "Say it properly." They hear the better model and get the credit for starting the conversation.

Extend: add something new. "The dog is running to get his ball. He's fast!" Now you've added a reason, a new word and a description.

Ask open questions. Yes-or-no questions end the turn: "Is that a dog?" "Yes." Open questions keep it going: "Where's the dog going?"

For a 12- to 18-month-old, open questions are too hard. Try choice questions instead: "Apple or banana?" The answer is right there in your question. By 2, mix in "what," "where" and "who." By 3, try "why" and "what happens next."

These habits have roots in a 1988 study by psychologist Grover Whitehurst. Parents trained for one month to ask more open questions and expand on their children's answers while reading had children who scored higher on tests of the words they could say, and used longer phrases. Nine months later the gap was still there, though smaller.

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The pause: wait for their turn

Most of us are quick to fill silence. But a toddler needs time to find words. After you ask or say something, count silently to five before you jump in to help.

It feels long. Often the answer arrives at about four. That pause is what turns your talk into a conversation, and conversation is what matters most. In a 2018 brain-imaging study at MIT and Harvard, the number of back-and-forth conversational turns children had at home was linked to activity in a key language area and to verbal scores, more than the number of words they heard. It was a small, single snapshot, but it fits a wider pattern: talk that goes with a child seems to matter more than talk aimed at one. See serve and return for how this starts in babyhood.

Labels, self-talk and parallel talk

Toddlers can only learn words they hear. These three techniques put the right words in the air, tied to what your child is seeing right now.

• Labelling: name things, actions and feelings. "That's a colander. Water goes through the holes." "You're frustrated. The block keeps falling." Don't be afraid of big words. Toddlers love a good bulldozer or enormous.
• Self-talk: describe what you're doing. "I'm cutting the cheese. Cut, cut. Now it's on your plate."
• Parallel talk: describe what your child is doing. "You're pushing the truck. Up the ramp! Oh, it fell down."

A word of balance: a non-stop stream of narration leaves no room for your child's turn. Narrate a bit, then stop and see if they add something.

Read together, and say yes to "again"

Reading with your toddler beats reading at them. Point and ask, "What's that?" Praise the answer, add a word ("It's a red fire truck"), and let them try the new word. This style is called dialogic reading. A Dutch review of 16 studies found it gave a moderate boost to the words children can say.

And say yes when they hand you the same book for the fortieth time. In a University of Sussex study, 3-year-olds who heard the same story three times learned its new words; those who heard three different stories with the same words didn't learn them. On the tenth reading, stop before the last word and let your child fill it in. See the best way to read to a toddler.

A talk-rich day for a 2-year-old

None of this needs extra time. It fits inside a day you're already living.

You'll miss half of these on most days. That's still a talk-rich day. And when the TV is on in the background, talk tends to go quiet, so keep it off during meals and play.

Go deeper

Grow a Genius

In the book: Chapter 20: The Word Explosion

The book gives you the full set of talk habits, with dialogic reading step by step and a talk-rich day plan, and Talk to Me: 101 Conversation Games adds ideas sorted by age.

• The 7 Genius Builders, stage by stage
• 16 printable guides, including the Prenatal Label Decoder
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