Is pretend play important for child development?
Yes, but the honest version is interesting. A review of more than 150 studies found no good evidence that pretending alone raises creativity or intelligence, while links to language, storytelling and self-regulation leaned toward "it might help." The reviewers noted the benefit may come from the adults and children who play along. So your part in it may matter most.
On this page
What the research really says
Pretend play is the star of most parenting books, with big claims attached: it builds theory of mind (understanding that other people have their own thoughts), language, creativity and self-control.
In 2013, Angeline Lillard and colleagues at the University of Virginia reviewed more than 150 studies in Psychological Bulletin. They found:
- Creativity, intelligence, problem-solving: no good evidence that pretend play on its own raises them.
- Theory of mind: inconsistent results.
- Language, storytelling and self-regulation: too thin to decide, but leaning toward "it might help."
They also raised a sharp point: the benefit may come from the adults and other children who play along, more than from the pretending itself. That's useful news for you. The part that may matter most is the part you supply.
Why it still earns a big place in your child's day
In 2018 the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) published a report called The Power of Play. It defines play as something the child chooses, enjoys and is fully absorbed in, often make-believe. It argues that play with parents and peers builds language, social, emotional and thinking skills, including executive function, the brain's planning and self-control system.
Complex pretend play is executive work. From about 3½, pretend games get roles, rules and a storyline. The AAP report notes this kind of play builds self-regulation, because children have to agree on the imaginary world and stay in role. A 2014 study also reported a link between executive function and the ability to handle pretend scenes in preschoolers. Our page on building self-control and focus turns that into games.
And play calms. In a small experiment cited by the AAP, preschoolers anxious about starting school were randomly assigned to 15 minutes of play or to listening to a story. The play group showed about a twofold drop in anxiety.
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How pretend play develops, by age
Ranges overlap, and your child sets the pace.
| Age | What pretend often looks like |
|---|---|
| About 18-24 months | First pretend with familiar routines: feeding a doll, bathing a teddy, putting a toy to bed |
| 2-2½ years | Objects stand in for others: a banana is a phone, a box is a car. Dress-up and play kitchens |
| By 30 months | Pretend play like feeding a doll is on the CDC's milestone list |
| 2½-3 years | Pretend with a little story: "doctor," "shop" |
| 3½ years and up | Roles, rules and storylines shared with other children |
| By 4 years | Pretending to be something else, like a dog or a teacher, is on the CDC list |
Substitution, letting one thing stand for another, is the big leap of early pretend.
How to join in without taking over
When your toddler hands you a block and says "phone," answer it. Then add a little: "Hello? Oh, Grandma wants to know what we're having for lunch. What should I tell her?" You've just modeled turn-taking, a question, and the idea that Grandma has her own wants.
- Feed the toy. Toddlers often start with familiar routines: feeding, bathing, bedtime.
- Talk about thoughts and feelings. "Teddy is sad. Why do you think he's sad?" Our page on teaching toddlers empathy builds on this.
- Let objects stand in. Offer a box, a scarf, a spoon, and see what they become.
- Act out tomorrow. Play "going to the doctor" before a real visit. Pretend gives the brain a rehearsal.
Then follow, don't direct. The AAP's advice for parents at play is to be there but not be intrusive. Narrate, add one small twist, and let your child decide where the story goes. Simple props beat fancy ones; see how many toys a toddler needs.
Pretend play with a plan, from about 3½
Before the game starts, ask: "Who are you going to be? What's going to happen first?" Your child holds that plan in mind (working memory), sticks to the role (self-control) and adjusts when a sibling changes the story (flexibility).
- Ask: "What are we playing? Who will you be? What happens first?"
- Let her draw the plan, or write it while she tells you. A stick figure is plenty.
- Play. If the story drifts, point to the plan: "Are you still the vet?"
- Later, plan with a friend or sibling, with two or three steps.
Pretending can even help with hard tasks. In a 2017 study of 180 children aged 4 to 6, those who dressed up as a hardworking character and were asked whether that character was working hard stayed on a dull task longer than children asked "Am I working hard?" Dressing up may also just have made the task more fun. A dish towel cape is worth a try.
Playing "store" or "school" with friends also practices sharing, scripts and waiting, all skills kindergarten teachers value.
When to mention it to your doctor
Lillard's team noted that a near-total absence of pretend play by 18 months to 2 years can be one early sign worth raising with a pediatrician. It's one sign among many, and only a professional can put it in context. Most children who miss one milestone are fine, but asking costs nothing.
Separately, if your child loses skills she used to have, like words or eye contact, call your doctor now rather than waiting for a checkup.
Do this
- Answer the banana phone today, then add one question to keep the story going.
- Ask "Who will you be? What happens first?" before your next pretend game.
- Act out an upcoming event, like a doctor visit or the first day of preschool.
- Put a box, a scarf and a spoon out and see what they become.
- Ask one feelings question during play: "Why do you think Teddy is sad?"
When to ask your doctor
Check with your doctor or midwife first if…
- Your child shows almost no pretend play by 18 months to 2 years: raise it with your pediatrician
- Your child isn't doing simple pretend, like feeding a doll, by 30 months: mention it at the next visit
Call your doctor now if…
- Your child stops saying words she used to say, or stops making eye contact
- Your child stops walking or using her hands the way she did
This page is general information, not medical advice. Every pregnancy and every child is different. Ask your doctor, midwife or pediatrician before changing supplements, diet or care.
Grow a Genius
In the book: Chapter 22: Play Is the Curriculum
The book pairs this chapter with Chapter 23 to give you the honest pretend-play research, a play-by-age table and the play-plan game that turns make-believe into self-control practice.
- The 7 Genius Builders, stage by stage
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People also ask
What does pretend play actually help with?
The most promising areas are language, storytelling and self-regulation: a review of more than 150 studies found the evidence leaned toward "it might help," though it was too thin to call. It found no good evidence that pretending on its own raises creativity or problem-solving. The reviewers suggested the people who play along may be a big part of any benefit.
At what age does pretend play start?
Often from about 18 months, with familiar routines like feeding a doll or putting a teddy to bed. By 30 months, simple pretend like feeding a doll is on the CDC milestone list, and by 4, pretending to be something else, like a dog or a teacher. Ranges vary, so follow your child.
Should I play pretend with my child or let them play alone?
Both. Joining in matters, because the research suggests much of pretend play's value may come from the adults and children who play along. Follow her lead, add a question or a twist, and don't take over. Then step back and let her keep going on her own.
Is it a concern if my toddler doesn't pretend?
Children vary, but a near-total absence of pretend play by 18 months to 2 years can be one early sign worth raising with your pediatrician. It's one sign among many. Mention it at the next visit, and call sooner if your child loses skills she used to have.